If you're reading this you probably wanna touch my butt 🍑 snapchat: mrtnz7
South Texas. 342 months old.
Every follow back helps my self esteem 🤙🏼
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
I hated you so much I killed myself
How I wanna be. Flashbacks to me holding my little cupcake.
The urge to drink is high tonight.
Mmmmm
I love cocktails so much I make up my own, but this is a really handy chart.
I mix mines a lil stronger but still a good chart
Niceeeee, although you know we make ours stronger lol
My intrusive thoughts are all about not being good enough. Not deserving enough. I just laugh. They get to me tho.
Someone pray for me.
Nothing wrong. It’s just the way I’m so attracted to men who aren’t even gay….😮💨😮💨😮💨
I need to learn to stop lol
It’s unhealthy.
I’ve been played before.
The eagerness in my heart blinds me to the flags so red they’re almost black. I look the other way when they show up. Not even phased by the idea that they’re going to be so bad for my health. Sucking all the good inside me til I feel like I’m empty.
I’m a masochist. That’s the only way to explain the pleasure of pursuing something that’s obviously going to be so painful.
I’ve always been the person to preach about taking a chance and how you can try with a 100 people and fail, but that 101 is gunna be it. The optimism I have is definitely way out of touch with reality. But it’s a dream. To find someone who makes it all worth the struggle. But delusions make up most of my love life. Hoping someone is the one is not the way to go to sleep at night. How do you balance a fantasy so premature with good intentions with the real life experiences that are so not what you’ve been putting out into the world. Is love a big joke that only people to scared to be lonely just take what they can get? Settle?
I’m not ready to stop the search for the dream. The white picket fence with the house we built together. Things we gathered in our times together occupying the spaces we made on our walls, and tables. Memories of a life and pictures of a moment between me and someone on a wall. That’s not out of reach if I keep scouring the world for it. But is looking too much? When is enough enough?
I’m good on my own. I’ve been playing with the idea that I may never find this idea of happiness. I’ve built it up so much in my heart that it’s almost a punch line. I laugh at myself all the time for being so desperate.
It’s depressing.
And I’ve been played before. Someone plays into the the fantasy and I admit I get giddy planning my future with someone who never intended on being more that just a fling.
I’m so stupid. And just because I’ve been played before. Time and time again. I’m still hopeful. One day. Even if it’s when I’m grey and old. I will find you. Enjoy yourself til I get there.
Your soulmate.